Changes and Growth

I need to be honest with everyone. I love Oregon. But I really want something new. I’ve already been pretty distant. I guess I’ve just been doing some soul searching. I am not the same person as I was Just a year ago… When I was first moving into Portland. When the opportunity came up it was something I couldn’t pass down. It’s been great while I have been living here. But a few things kind of crushed me. Realizing its likely I wasn’t able to back to school this year was one… Having issues finding a job… which I haven’t fully ever talked about. (lets just say I am dumb and need to proof read resume’s)
I have met some amazing people this past year. Most of them older, but I’ve always been told I kind of have an older mind. But to be perfectly honest I have been kind of having an identity crisis. I once was very confident. I have had some amazing opportunities. This past year I have been distant towards lots of people. And I guess what I am about to say won’t really make it better.
As I continue to grow as a person, I am still  yet looking for something new… You know that calling. Still have yet to meet lots of people. I know my passions. Music, telling stories, trying to be funny, and I want to further my creativity. And I guess I feel like I want to still get away.
Whether this will happen or not, I don’t know. But I think I want to move somewhere far and kind of just start a new life. Generally I am a happy person, but I feel I still have lots of growth and I feel moving somewhere will help with that. Places I have considered are some of the major cities in California or Denver, CO.
California because I feel it would be a lot different than what I am used to mentality wise. And I also feel with my experience’s it would be easier to further my skills there.
Colorado because, well its always been a place I’ve been interested in. To me its similar to Oregon, but still different enough. Similar because it still has major cities and it also has the small towns around them.
I’m not looking for attention nor anything from anyone. Support would be nice. I know before I can fully start considering it, I need a job that pays decent. I need encouragement, that is one of the things I say is hardest to live without. I also would like patience. I mentioned being distant from people, and this move would make things worse, but I guess life is about change. I need to grow up and become the man God wants me to be. I’ve been kind of just sailing through life without really knowing where I am going to go.

If you guys know anyone hiring in Portland, or somewhere I can get to by transit, letting me know would be much appreciated if you sent me there… And maybe even allow me to use you as a reference.
And don’t worry… I am still Keith! I am still awkward and dorky. I still am quiet in big groups of people and really silly in small groups. Pokemon and super hero’s are still some obsessions. I will always be that guy. I just need to further myself.
In the end, I truly do appreciate everyone, even if we don’t talk or anything. Even slight acquaintances have helped me, and neither of us probably even realize it. I might not always show, but genuinely I like pretty much everyone. We’re all people with our own stories. And its something sentiment to someone.


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